Thursday, November 17, 2005

Survivor's guilt

I have this theory about CF and survivors guilt.

I know I have it; but I’m not sure about other CF people.

I’ll explain it for those who are confused.

Survivor’s guilt is known for people who’ve been through dramatic experiences that others have died but by chance (actually God) they have lived.

I think people with CF have survivor’s guilt of some sort. I know CF is a difficult disease to explain because it affects people in different ways. I believe there’s like what, 1000 mutations of the disease? Obviously some will have worse symptoms then others. And therefore die earlier.

I knew a CF girl who was 2 years younger then me; she died at the beginning of this year. A couple months before that a guy my age died from CF, he lived about ½ hour away from my place. That’s when I felt guilty for being alive, I asked God “why wasn’t that me?” it so easily could have been.

I know there is stuff out there that helps CF but people just don’t know about it or are so ignorant that they refuse to give it a chance.

My parents always told me that God let me have CF for a reason. I know that reason now – to share with others who have CF that there is hope. But how do I effectively get that message across? I’m not doing so well because of luck or because I have one of the lesser kinds of CF. I’m this well because I’m doing something about my health! You can have as good as quality of life as me if you WANT it!

PARENTS take responsibility for pity sake! The doctors are not responsible for your child’s health, YOU ARE! Your doctor’s are there for guidance, but they are NOT all knowing. They DON’T have all the answers. YOU have to find them. First place I’d go look is for others who’ve had success with their CF. such as I. I’m not the only one.

Do this for your kid, or yourself.

RE - my life with CF. What I’ve done to be proactive about my health.

I liked this quote so much I also put it on my regular blog – Life is a Vapor

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
Ben Stein

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Dad has still forgotten to pick up my drugs. How funny!

Saturday, November 12, 2005


Water. Without it we would die. But is all water equal? That answer is quite obvious; NOT all water is equal.

and the best water out there is….. WELLNESS WATER!

Tomorrow I’m hopefully picking up the Wellness Water Carafe!!! I can’t wait! It was a gift from a friend. Thank-you!

Drinking good water is KEY in having a good quality of life!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The Appointment

So, supposedly there is a new way of measuring how well you're doing weight wise with CF! Calculating the BMI (in percentile if under 20). I'm told if you're in the 50 percentile (if under 20) then you have a better chance of making it with CF. Well, in order to be in that percentile I have to weigh 114.2 lbs!!!!!! I'm 105.4 now and this is like the heaviest I've ever been! How am I supposed to weigh 114? Like where is that fat/muscle supposed to go? I already got a butt! I certainly do not need anything any bigger.

They want to put me on Ciprofloxacin and a puffer just because my lung function wasn't as good as it was last year this time. I'M FINE! I'm giving my body what it needs and it'll do what it needs to do and take care of itself without having to deal with POISON which is exactly what drugs ALL are. (well basically)

I have this opportunity to be part of a research thingy... I'm going to tell them exactly what I think about Canadian health care! (or sickness care)

As I see it, every day you do one of two things: build health or produce disease in yourself.
Adelle Davis

Monday, November 07, 2005

Appointment tomorrow

Tomorrow is my CF check-up. I think I’m doing great but I guess I’ll find out if I really am or not tomorrow!

Winter is sooooooo cold! I really do not like it! If I ever get sick it’s during this season or because of it. I only like snow when its Christmas time.

Dad ordered a product from MT and I can’t wait for it to come!! It’s supposed to come today. I really think it makes a difference with my polyps and hopefully they’ll go ALL away this time so I won’t have to have my 7th surgery on my nose! My last one was like almost 3 years ago (next month will be exactly 3 years) and I really don’t want another one.

I’ll tell ya what happened at CF clinic tomorrow (as if I could sooner. lol)

"Condemnation without Investigation is the Height of Arrogance!"